G MPAA rating
Rated G - General Audiences

This article is rated G, meaning it is appropriate for all ages.

The Krusty Krab Reality Series/Pilot
Series The Krusty Krab Reality Series.
Season 1
Episode 1
Airdate January 29, 2013
Story by Squanto
Written by Squanto
Directed by Squanto
Supervising producer IHeartSpongeBob
Title card by Squanto


Squidward begins to slack off at work. Tensions begin to rise as Squidward may face being fired.


  • SpongeBob SquarePants: - whistles to music playing on the radio -
  • Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob. SpongeBob... SPONGEBOB!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, hi Squidward.
  • Squidward: Two Krabby Patties, hold the mayonnaise. - hands order to SpongeBob -
  • SpongeBob: - reads the order aloud - 2 Krabby Patties... Hold the mayonnaise... Thanks Squidward!
  • Squidward: Moron... - goes back to cashier -
  • SpongeBob: - flips two Krabby Patties into a hole, then puts in all the other ingredients and begins to shake self, pops out two Krabby Patties completely made on a plate - Order up Squidward! - puts the tray on the takeout window - Squidward? - looks out of the window and sees an angry line of krustomers - AH!!!!!!!!!! - runs back and forth taking orders and making them -
  • Eugene H. Krabs: What's going on out here!
  • SpongeBob: - out of breath - Squidward's missing sir.
  • Mr. Krabs: - pupils dilate - SQUIDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where is that blasted excuse of a cashier!
  • SpongeBob: Maybe we should follow that trail of tears?
  • Mr. Krabs: Good thinking boy! - follows the trail of tears to the storage room -
  • SpongeBob: Look over there! - points to a moving pile of bun bags -
  • Mr. Krabs: MR. SQUIDWARD!!!!!!
  • Squidward: Ah!! - jumps up and out of the pile of bun bags -
  • Mr. Krabs: Sleeping on the job again Mr. Squidward?
  • Squidward: I have never slept in my entire time at this so called job!
  • Mr. Krabs: Then what were you doing just a minute ago?
  • Squidward: Counting the buns to make sure we had enough.
  • Mr. Krabs: Were you now... - crosses arms - Then how many are there?
  • Squidward: Uh... 25?
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, tell Mr. Squidward how many buns we have.
  • SpongeBob: 256.9, sir!
  • Squidward: How is it 256.9?
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: Every Baby-sized Krabby Patty bun is 0.1 the size of a normal Krabby Patty bun!
  • Mr. Krabs: Thank you SpongeBob that will be all...
  • SpongeBob: - goes back to the kitchen -
  • Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, you have to begin working harder. I've been checking our income, and ever since I've hired you it's been dropping like nematodes have been after it. If you don't begin to work harder, I'm going to fire you!
  • Squidward: I thought this day would never come! So long sucker! - throws hat at Mr. Krabs and makes for the door -
  • Mr. Krabs: Hold on just a second! I thought you might say that... So I took the liberty of making sure every job in Bikini Bottom has been taken! There's not a place anywhere that will hire you! Hahaha!
  • Squidward: Great! I can finally move to New Kelp City and leave this dump!
  • Mr. Krabs: But you can't leave me Squidward! I need you! The Krusty Krab needs you! SpongeBob needs you!
  • Squidward: And I should care, why?
  • Mr. Krabs: Because I'll give you... more vacation time?
  • Squidward: And...?
  • Mr. Krabs: A ra... a rais....
  • Squidward: - slaps him -
  • Mr. Krabs: A raise!
  • Squidward: How much?
  • Mr. Krabs: How much are you paid already?
  • Squidward: 5 scallops per hour.
  • Mr. Krabs: 7 scallops per hour then.
  • Squidward: Cheapskate...
  • Mr. Krabs: Just get back to your station Mr. Squidward...
  • Squidward: Aye aye captain. - goes back to the cash register - Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I take your order?
  • Krustomer 1: Yeah, I'll have one Krabby Patty-
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, one-
  • Krustomer 1: I'm not finished though...
  • Squidward: Of course you aren't...
  • Krustomer 1: And one large kelp fries.
  • Squidward: Of course... SpongeBob, one Krabby Patty and large kelp fries. That'll be $2.54.
  • Krustomer 1: - pays -
  • SpongeBob: For here or to go?
  • Squidward: To go.
  • Krustomer 1: But I want it for here.
  • Squidward: Well excuse me, but we are full and you're gonna eat to go!
  • 'SpongeBob': - walks out of the kitchen with the bag - Here you are sir, one Krabby Patty and large kelp fries to go!
  • Krustomer 1: At least someone here has the ability to be nice around here!
  • Krustomers 2-10: - murmur in agreement -
  • Squidward: Next.
  • Krustomer 2: - walks up -
  • Squidward: Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I take your order?
  • Krustomer 2: I'll have a-
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, one Kra-
  • Krustomer 2: Hey! I'm not finished yet!
  • Squidward: Were you going to order a Krabby Patty?
  • Krustomer 2: Well... yes.
  • Squidward: Then I saved us both time.
  • Krustomer 2: You still interrupted me though!
  • Squidward: So? You're interrupting me!
  • Krustomer 2: That's it! I'm sick and tired of this! Let's get him!
  • Krustomers: - pulls out pitchforks and torches, begins to attack Squidward -
  • Squidward: AH!!!!! - crawls through the window and lands on the grill - SpongeBob you've gotta help me! There's an angry mob out there that wants tear me limb from limb and slowly cook me over a...! - looks down - Do you have the grill on?
  • SpongeBob: - nods -
  • Squidward: AH!!!!!! - jumps off and starts hopping on his feet -
  • Krustomers: - slowly begin to come through the door as though they were zombies -
  • Squidward: AH!!!!! Protect me, SpongeBob! - hides behind SpongeBob -
  • SpongeBob: If you want Squidward, you'll have to go through me!
  • Krustomers: - one steps forward and holds SpongeBob open like a door for the rest -
  • Mr. Krabs: - walks through the door - What's all the ruckus! - gasps - Get back you crooks! - pushes the Krustomers out the door - MAN YOUR BATTLE STATION MR. SQUAREPANTS!!!!!!!
  • SpongeBob: - goes over to the grill and begins making Krabby Patties and throwing them out the window to the Krustomers -
  • Krustomers: - eat the krabby patties, pay, and then leave -
  • Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward... In light of recent events you are being given an early vacation for a week.
  • Squidward: You mean... I get a whole week away from this? WHOOPEE!!!!!!!! So long suckers!!! Goodbye SpongeBob, hello tropical paradise!!!!!! - runs out whooping and hollering some more -
  • Mr. Krabs: Heh heh heh... Good thing he doesn't know I'm lowering his salary back to 5 scallops an hour, eh boy?
  • 'SpongeBob': Oh... - begins to slowly laugh then gradually get louder then stops completely - I don't get it...


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.