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Shuffleboarding Remade Remade is the 9th episode of SpongeBob SquarePants Remade.

Shuffleboarding Remade
File:Shuffleboarding Remade Title Card.jpg
Series SpongeBob SquarePants Remade
Season 1
Episode 9
Airdate December 12, 2015
Story by User: Itsshehahnbro
Written by User: Calaz
Directed by User: Calaz
Animation director(s) User: Itsshehahnbro
Title card by User: Calaz
Next Episode Squid Wood Remade
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The poll was created at 22:28 on May 29, 2017, and so far 0 people voted.

Plot

Patrick Star joins shuffleboarding since he is jealous that SpongeBob SquarePants (character) always beats him in jellyfishing.

Transcript

Narrator: Today we are in day three of the jellyfish migration. The most beautiful week for j-

[SpongeBob and Patrick giggle]

Narrator: Wha- Who dares try to interrupt my perplexing conversation with the audience?

[SpongeBob and Patrick giggle again]

French Narrator: That's it. I quit.

[the mic is dropped and footsteps are heard]

English Narrator: Please wait, we are having some technical difficulties.

[all of a sudden, elevator music plays and a title card saying meanwhile comes]

French Narrator: Meanwhile… Wait I thought I quit!

SpongeBob: Ah… these jellyfish are so beautiful! Ooh it's a Blue Dragon Jellyfish! These are really rare, Patrick! Uh… Patrick?

Patrick: Does rare mean back? Cause when I was walking the other day, someone said I have a rare back…

[Patrick shows his disgusting back]

SpongeBob: Ew… when was the last time you washed that thing?

Patrick: Ninety years.

SpongeBob: You're ninety years old?

Patrick: Yep.

SpongeBob: How do you stay so handsome?

Patrick: Your mom.

[SpongeBob looks at him in a puzzled way]

Patrick: Oh sorry! My brain wasn’t plugged in!

[Patrick suddenly plugs in a cord into the ground]

SpongeBob: Um… do you wanna just keep jellyfishing?

Patrick: OH BOY DO I?!?

[SpongeBob start catching the most speediest breeds of jellyfish, while Patrick is still trying to catch a Jellyfish Turtle]

Patrick: I’m gonna getcha… anytime now… just soon…

[he then looks up at SpongeBob with all of the skill he has, then looks at himself and sees what a failure he's become]

[Patrick starts sobbing and a Jellyfish Turtle watches in pain.]

Jellyfish Turtle: Hey buddy, it's okay…

Patrick: No it isn’t! Even though SpongeBob’s my friend, he is always better than me!

Jellyfish Turtle: Look, if you don’t wanna do so much work, why not play a slower sport-

Patrick: THAT'S IT! Mr. Turtle, will you be my friend?

Jellyfish Turtle: Sure, but-

Patrick: NO TIME! GATTA GO!

Jellyfish Turtle: Sigh… my life is slow… literally…

[screen cuts to a shuffleboarding headquarters]

Patrick: Hello sir, i would like to enter the 2015 Shuffleboarding games!

Shuffleboarding Guy #1: So… What’s your talent?

Patrick: Being slow…

Shuffleboarding Guy #2: THAT’S PERFECT!!!

[screen cuts to the shuffleboarding league kickoff]

Realistic Fish: And… welcome to the first game of the shuffleboarding season! Yes, we literally have nothing better to do a news story on. Anyway, the defending champion, Rickie Fisher Vs. the all new contender, Patrick Star! And… let's begin.

Rickie and Patrick tap the ball… again… again…]

[“One Painful Hour Later”]

Patrick: [Tap] I WIN!! I WIN!! WHOOOHOOO! IN YOUR FACE, RICKIE!

[we then see a montage of Patrick getting closer and closer to the championship, and then we see Patrick sleeping the morning of the championship]

Alarm Clock: BEEP BEEP BEEP! I WATCH YOU SLEEP SLEEP! I'M A CREEP CREEP!

Patrick: Yeah, yeah, you're amazing.

[He presses the snooze button and puts on his shuffleboarding uniform]

Patrick: Alright, Patrick. Today's the big day.

[He gets out of his rock and sees SpongeBob in his KK uniform]

[Patrick acts sarcastic]

Patrick: Oh… hi SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hey, buddy!

Patrick: “Buddy”? Liar.

SpongeBob: Wha- Huh? Were best friends!

Patrick: I don’t care. Now excuse me, I am going to my championship.

SpongeBob: Huh. Well, see you at the game, Patrick!

Patrick: He probably means fifty miles away. [walks away]

[screen cuts to the shuffleboarding stadium]

Realistic Fish: And… welcome to the shuffleboarding championship!

[there's a roar from the crowd]

Realistic Fish: In this corner, we have are best player of the season, John… Misty!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEAH!

Realistic Fish: And in this corner… we have the underdog, Patrick Staaaaaaar!

[the crowd is silent except for SpongeBob]

SpongeBob: WHOOOOOOOOOOO! ALRIGHT! YEAH!

[then we have a montage of the game]

Realistic Fish: Wow, this has been such an intense game… it is now 12-11, and if Patrick scores this time, he will win the game, but if he doesn’t, John will win the game.

SpongeBob: WHOOOO! YEAH! GO PATRICK!

Patrick: Sp- Sp- SpongeBob? Hes here? But I thought- Well, now I really need to win!

Realistic Fish: Patrick takes to hit and… he MISSES! John wins by one point!

[everyone cheers for John, and Patrick falls to his knees. That's when he notices something in John’s beard]

Patrick: Hey… there's something in the beard...

[Patrick pulls out a kid from the beard]

Patrick: This little fella was inside John’s beard! He was controlling him!

[Everybody gasps]

Realistic Fish: Well, as they say, only one contender can join as a participant, so I guess Patrick wins!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU STINK!

Patrick: Wait, I can’t accept this.

Realistic Fish: Bu- Bu- Why?

Patrick: Because… I have learned a lesson while playing this game. I thought SpongeBob hated me, cause he never helped me while jelly-fishing… but… now i realize… it’s not about winning the championship… its about teamwork… and now I realize… SpongeBob has been helping me all this time. C’mon buddy, get out the stands!

[SpongeBob gets out of the stands]

Patrick: Lets go jellyfishing, buddy!

SpongeBob: Do you really mean that?

Patrick: Of course I do.

[SpongeBob and Patrick skip out of the stadium]

Relistic Fish: So… that was heartwarming and all, but who won the game?

John Misty: I don’t know.

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