This article is rated G, meaning it is appropriate for users of all ages.
Shuffleboarding Remade Remade is the 9th episode of SpongeBob SquarePants Remade.
|Series||SpongeBob SquarePants Remade|
|Airdate||December 12, 2015|
|Story by||User: Itsshehahnbro|
|Written by||User: Calaz|
|Directed by||User: Calaz|
|Animation director(s)||User: Itsshehahnbro|
|Title card by||User: Calaz|
|Next Episode||Squid Wood Remade|
Narrator: Today we are in day three of the jellyfish migration. The most beautiful week for j-
[SpongeBob and Patrick giggle]
Narrator: Wha- Who dares try to interrupt my perplexing conversation with the audience?
[SpongeBob and Patrick giggle again]
French Narrator: That's it. I quit.
[the mic is dropped and footsteps are heard]
English Narrator: Please wait, we are having some technical difficulties.
[all of a sudden, elevator music plays and a title card saying meanwhile comes]
French Narrator: Meanwhile… Wait I thought I quit!
SpongeBob: Ah… these jellyfish are so beautiful! Ooh it's a Blue Dragon Jellyfish! These are really rare, Patrick! Uh… Patrick?
Patrick: Does rare mean back? Cause when I was walking the other day, someone said I have a rare back…
[Patrick shows his disgusting back]
SpongeBob: Ew… when was the last time you washed that thing?
Patrick: Ninety years.
SpongeBob: You're ninety years old?
SpongeBob: How do you stay so handsome?
Patrick: Your mom.
[SpongeBob looks at him in a puzzled way]
Patrick: Oh sorry! My brain wasn’t plugged in!
[Patrick suddenly plugs in a cord into the ground]
SpongeBob: Um… do you wanna just keep jellyfishing?
Patrick: OH BOY DO I?!?
[SpongeBob start catching the most speediest breeds of jellyfish, while Patrick is still trying to catch a Jellyfish Turtle]
Patrick: I’m gonna getcha… anytime now… just soon…
[he then looks up at SpongeBob with all of the skill he has, then looks at himself and sees what a failure he's become]
[Patrick starts sobbing and a Jellyfish Turtle watches in pain.]
Jellyfish Turtle: Hey buddy, it's okay…
Patrick: No it isn’t! Even though SpongeBob’s my friend, he is always better than me!
Jellyfish Turtle: Look, if you don’t wanna do so much work, why not play a slower sport-
Patrick: THAT'S IT! Mr. Turtle, will you be my friend?
Jellyfish Turtle: Sure, but-
Patrick: NO TIME! GATTA GO!
Jellyfish Turtle: Sigh… my life is slow… literally…
[screen cuts to a shuffleboarding headquarters]
Patrick: Hello sir, i would like to enter the 2015 Shuffleboarding games!
Shuffleboarding Guy #1: So… What’s your talent?
Patrick: Being slow…
Shuffleboarding Guy #2: THAT’S PERFECT!!!
[screen cuts to the shuffleboarding league kickoff]
Realistic Fish: And… welcome to the first game of the shuffleboarding season! Yes, we literally have nothing better to do a news story on. Anyway, the defending champion, Rickie Fisher Vs. the all new contender, Patrick Star! And… let's begin.
Rickie and Patrick tap the ball… again… again…]
[“One Painful Hour Later”]
Patrick: [Tap] I WIN!! I WIN!! WHOOOHOOO! IN YOUR FACE, RICKIE!
[we then see a montage of Patrick getting closer and closer to the championship, and then we see Patrick sleeping the morning of the championship]
Alarm Clock: BEEP BEEP BEEP! I WATCH YOU SLEEP SLEEP! I'M A CREEP CREEP!
Patrick: Yeah, yeah, you're amazing.
[He presses the snooze button and puts on his shuffleboarding uniform]
Patrick: Alright, Patrick. Today's the big day.
[He gets out of his rock and sees SpongeBob in his KK uniform]
[Patrick acts sarcastic]
Patrick: Oh… hi SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Hey, buddy!
Patrick: “Buddy”? Liar.
SpongeBob: Wha- Huh? Were best friends!
Patrick: I don’t care. Now excuse me, I am going to my championship.
SpongeBob: Huh. Well, see you at the game, Patrick!
Patrick: He probably means fifty miles away. [walks away]
[screen cuts to the shuffleboarding stadium]
Realistic Fish: And… welcome to the shuffleboarding championship!
[there's a roar from the crowd]
Realistic Fish: In this corner, we have are best player of the season, John… Misty!
Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEAH!
Realistic Fish: And in this corner… we have the underdog, Patrick Staaaaaaar!
[the crowd is silent except for SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: WHOOOOOOOOOOO! ALRIGHT! YEAH!
[then we have a montage of the game]
Realistic Fish: Wow, this has been such an intense game… it is now 12-11, and if Patrick scores this time, he will win the game, but if he doesn’t, John will win the game.
SpongeBob: WHOOOO! YEAH! GO PATRICK!
Patrick: Sp- Sp- SpongeBob? Hes here? But I thought- Well, now I really need to win!
Realistic Fish: Patrick takes to hit and… he MISSES! John wins by one point!
[everyone cheers for John, and Patrick falls to his knees. That's when he notices something in John’s beard]
Patrick: Hey… there's something in the beard...
[Patrick pulls out a kid from the beard]
Patrick: This little fella was inside John’s beard! He was controlling him!
Realistic Fish: Well, as they say, only one contender can join as a participant, so I guess Patrick wins!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU STINK!
Patrick: Wait, I can’t accept this.
Realistic Fish: Bu- Bu- Why?
Patrick: Because… I have learned a lesson while playing this game. I thought SpongeBob hated me, cause he never helped me while jelly-fishing… but… now i realize… it’s not about winning the championship… its about teamwork… and now I realize… SpongeBob has been helping me all this time. C’mon buddy, get out the stands!
[SpongeBob gets out of the stands]
Patrick: Lets go jellyfishing, buddy!
SpongeBob: Do you really mean that?
Patrick: Of course I do.
[SpongeBob and Patrick skip out of the stadium]
Relistic Fish: So… that was heartwarming and all, but who won the game?
John Misty: I don’t know.