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G MPAA rating
Rated G - General Audiences

This article is rated G, meaning it is appropriate for all ages.

Riding the Rails is the sixth Basket Sponge short. It was written by Doctor Bugs.

Plot

Mr. Krabs learns life as a hobo from Special Steve.

Characters

Transcript

[Mr. Krabs comes home late one night after work]

Krabs: Ah, another successful day of cheating folks out of their money. (unlocks his front door)

[He steps inside, noticing that his house is gone, only with the front door still there]

Krabs: Me house! What happened! (starts crying)

Plankton: (jumps on the scene) I destroyed it in search of the Krabby Patty formula.

Krabs: (sobbing) All of me possessions! All of me money! Ruined!!!!

Pearl: (stumbles out of a pile of debris) I'm still alive, Daddy. Don't worry.

Krabs: WHO CARES ABOUT YOU, PEARL! MY HOUSE WAS DESTROYED!!!

Pearl: It's MY house too, ya know.

Krabs: Oh! That reminds me! I still have one lest possession I can sell!

Pearl: Wait....don't tell me your gonna sell ME.

[Scene cuts to Pearl tied up on a pirate ship]

Pirate: Argh! This young lady slave costed $500!

Pirate Captain: Argh! She was way too expensive!

First Mate: Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

[Scene cuts back to Mr. Krabs holding a bag of money]

Krabs: I sold me last possession, me daughter Pearl. But $500 still isn't enough to get a new house! (starts sobbing)

Plankton: Calm down, Krabs, we'll figure something else. You can stay with me in the Chum Bucket.

Krabs: Noever I'll live in the Krusty Krab!

Plankton: Kinda destroyed that too....

Krabs: Can't you see this is all YOUR fault! Now where do I go?

Plankton: Well, you could become a hobo.

Krabs: Why would I wanna become a hobo?

Plankton: Hobos are awesome! In fact, I know a guy who can help you.

Krabs: Who????

Plankton: Special Steve, come here!

Special Steve: (hops out of a trash can) Ahoy!

Krabs: A human in Bikini Bottom?

Plankton: Yep, he's one of the few.

Special Steve: I can teach you EVERYTHING about life as a hobo!

Krabs: Why do they call you special steve?

Special Steve: (barfs out a unicorn) A mango!!! Mah favorite vegetable!!! (shoves the unicorn up his nostril)

Krabs: Whoa.....you are.......

Special Steve: Special?

Krabs: Very.

Special Steve: Well, let's goooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

[Scene cuts to Steve and Krabs in a dark alley]

Special Steve: In the hood, you need to establish dominance by proving you're top dog!

Krabs: I'm watching.

Special Steve: (walks up to a giant rough-looking fish) Hey, you! You think you're so tough!

Rough Fish: (grunt)

Special Steve: Well you're not! You're going DOWN!

Rough Fish: (pounds Steve's face into the ground)

Krabs: You seem to be losing, Steve.

Special Steve: I tawt I taw a puddy tat!

Tweety Bird: Hey! That's MY line! (beats up Steve and the Rough Fish)

Rough Fish: RUN! SAVAGE TWEETY BIRD ON THE LOOSE!!!!!

Sylvester: (in a garbage can) That's what I've been tellin' people for years!

Tweety Bird: Tee-hee. I'm evil.

[Scene cuts to Steve and Krabs in front of a line of trash cans]

Special Steve: Now I'm going to teach you how to eat good in the hood!

Krabs: Looks....delicious.

Special Steve: (reaches into a garbage can) Let's see what we got here.....oh! A delicious sock! And......a hunk of moldy meatloaf! Score!

Krabs: (gagging) Don't you have anything better?

Special Steve: It's your lucky day, Krabs my friend, cuz I have a.......hound dog! (pulls out Yogi Bear)

Huckleberry Hound: (looks at the audience) It's not nearly as funny when you're the third crossover character in one cartoon.

Special Steve: (chucks Huckleberry behind his shoulder) We still have one more thing to learn!

Krabs: And what's that?

Special Steve: Ridin' the rails!

Krabs: (gulp)

[Scene cuts to Krabs and Steve standing beside a railroad track]

Speial Steve: All we have to do is wait for the train to pass, and we hop inside of it!

Krabs: What's the point of this?

Special Steve: Cuz that's what hobos do!

Krabs: I don't like being a hobo.

Special Steve: It's a way of life, Krabs. You'll warm up to it eventually. Shhh, the train's coming!

[The train is coming at an alarmingly fast rate]

Krabs: Why's he going so fast?

[The train turns OFF the track, and charges directly at Steve and Krabs]

Special Steve: (running) I've never had a train do this before!!!!!

Krabs: (running) The driver wants to kill us! This is all your fault, Steve!

Special Steve: I'm sorry, Krabs. There's just one more thing you need to learn about being a hobo.

Krabs: Whaaaatttt????

Special Steve: It's....it's....

Krabs: SPIT IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

Special Steve: It's... (the train runs over both of them)

[The driver is revealed to be Patrick]

Patrick: Tee-hee! I like trains!

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