This article is rated G, meaning it is appropriate for all ages.
Patrick is swapped with a basketball player and has to play as him in order for his team to break a record. He turns out to be so bad at playing, however, that SpongeBob and Sandy must get the real player back in the game before things get even worse.
The episode begins with Patrick, SpongeBob, and Sandy in the bleachers of a basketball stadium, talking about how if the Anchovies win another game they'll break a record. Patrick misunderstands Sandy stupidly, and Sandy karate-chops him in anger, which launches him onto Roberto, a player on the Anchovies, who is rocketed out the door.
The coach doesn't see the difference between Patrick and Roberto because Patrick's fan attire was made after Roberto, although he does question why he is pink. The game starts, and Patrick does terribly, sometimes not even paying attention to the game and doing other things.
Due to this, the coach says Patrick is making the team lose against the Catfishes and he must do better so they can break the record. SpongeBob and Sandy realize that they must find the real Roberto before it's too late. They hop off the bleachers and out the door to immediately find him, with his leg injured.
They take him in and announce that "Roberto" was actually Patrick, and the real Roberto was right next to him. An angry crowd of people chase after Patrick, and he runs away from them. Unfortunately, he accidentally bumps into Sandy, who then angrily karate-chops him to a sea nearby New Zealand, with a random unlucky male fish cushioning his fall.
Patrick discovers Roberto and SpongeBob are here as well. When he questions this, SpongeBob says that Sandy got into a spree of karate-chopping people to New Zealand. Patrick states that she is still on the spree judging from a large shadow he sees, and a gigantic clump of fish lands on them abruptly, prompting Roberto to say "My knee!". The episode then ends.
- [the episode begins with Patrick and SpongeBob, sitting in the bleachers of a basketball stadium along with other people, everyone is wearing fan outfits, people in basketball uniforms come into the stadium, making it obvious now that it is a basketball game]
- Patrick: This basketball game is gonna be good!
- SpongeBob: You betcha!
- Sandy: Yeah, I can’t wait to see the game! If our team wins one more game they’ll break the record for longest streak of winning basketball matches!
- Patrick: Basketball matches? So, they specifically designed matches to burn basketballs? Technology is so advanced these days!
- Sandy: No, you idiot!
- [Sandy karate chops Patrick, causing him to tumble into the stadium and hit Roberto Minnowson, the person his fan costume was made after, who then stumbles across the stadium and out the door]
- Coach: Okay, Roberto, you ready for the… er, Roberto… you’re looking a little… pink.
- Patrick: Who’s Roberto?
- Coach: You! Now you better not screw up again, we had some close calls the last few games! We’re all depending on you!
- Patrick: Last few games? I wasn’t at the last few games, I just watched those ones on TV.
- Coach: Uh… oh, game’s starting soon! Go on!
- Entire team: Go… ANCHOVIES!
- SpongeBob: Is that Patrick?
- Sandy: Oh no. That’s Patrick.
- [Sandy and SpongeBob simultaneously facepalm]
- Random Player: I’M OPEN! I’M OPEN! ROBERTO, THROW THE BALL!
- Patrick: Nah, to me you look closed. Let me fix that.
- [Patrick tries to open the player like a door]
- Patrick: I can clearly see your hinges need to be oiled.
- Random Player: Ugh, Coach Tetra isn’t going to be so happy if you keep this up!
- [A random player from the other team steals the ball Patrick was dribbling and makes a slam dunk]
- SpongeBob: Yeah, this is not going to end well.
- French Narrator: It is now time for the Basketball Montage.
- [a card appears saying “The Basketball Montage” on screen and then disappears, “Left Bank Two” by The Noveltones begins playing as Patrick plays basketball, he attempts to make a basket but misses and hits his teammates in the face, someone steals his ball and slam dunks, the scene cuts to Patrick dancing with a cane side to side, but someone smacks him with the basketball which rebounds off him and lands in the basket, Sandy facepalms, the montage ends]
- Patrick: So, how are we doing?
- Coach Tetra: How are we doing?! Thanks to you the score is 100-0, and it’s only halfway through the game!
- Patrick: Wow, we’re doing great!
- Coach Tetra: Roberto, we’re the team with 0 points. The Catfishes are winning, and if you don’t start playing the game like you always do, we can’t break the record!
- SpongeBob: Oh dang. Wait, I have an idea! Sandy, we have to find the real Roberto and get him back in the game!
- Sandy: Yeah, but we had better hurry!
- [SpongeBob and Sandy run off the bleachers and outdoors, where they find Roberto immediately]
- Roberto: Guys, some pink idiot knocked me out of the stage and I got hurt very badly on my knee!
- Sandy: If you think that’s bad, guess what that pink idiot is doing now…
- SpongeBob: Sandy! Don’t tell him!
- Roberto: You guys have to help me!
- [SpongeBob and Sandy lift him up together, and carry him into the stadium with struggle]
- Sandy: ATTENTION!
- [everyone turns to look at Sandy]
- Sandy: Okay, so let me guess, everyone is wondering why Roberto is doing so bad.
- Everyone: Yeah…
- Sandy: And why he’s pink.
- Everyone: Yeah…
- SpongeBob: Well, in a nutshell. That’s because he’s not Roberto.
- Everyone: WHAT!?
- Sandy: THIS is Roberto!
- [Sandy yanks Roberto up]
- Roberto: And that’s just some random pink-coloured idiot!
- [Everyone looks at Patrick]
- Patrick: So, who’s Roberto again?
- Random fish in bleachers: GET HIM!
- [Everyone chases after Patrick, he begins to run away but bumps into Sandy]
- Sandy: You're not going anywhere! Except for New Zealand!
- [Sandy karate-chops him up to the sky, the scene cuts to a random area in the ocean near New Zealand]
- Fish Woman: Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
- Fish Man: Nah, to me it looks more like a pink pointy thingy that’s about to-
- [Patrick lands directly on the man]
- Fish Woman: He’s probably going to be hospitalized for a while.
- Fish Man: Ya think?
- Patrick: Cool! I’m in New Zealand! They call popsicles ice lollies here.
- SpongeBob: Is that seriously the only thing you’re going to enjoy about New Zealand?
- Roberto: There’s plenty more to see here.
- Patrick: Wait, uh, how did you get here?
- SpongeBob: Sandy’s on another one of those “karate-chop-people-to-New-Zealand” sprees again.
- [Patrick sees a large shadow over them]
- Patrick: It looks like she’s still on that spree, because-
- [a giant clump of fish land on them]
- Roberto: Augh! My knee!
- [the episode ends]
- When Patrick lands on the fish in New Zealand, the woman becomes invisible for less than a split second.
- An alternate version of the episode had been made that was entirely different, and even included Squidward in it. It was changed to this version because the other version was not very humorous.
- Roberto saying "My knee!" at the end of the episode could reference Fred from the original series, who always said "My leg!"
- The random woman in the sea nearby New Zealand references Superman, by saying "Is it a bird? Is it a plane?" when she sees Patrick rocketing down from Sandy's karate-chop.