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G MPAA rating
Rated G - General Audiences

This article is rated G, meaning it is appropriate for all ages.
Objectionable content includes: Depictions of violence

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Patrick's Acting Tutorial is the first short in Patrick Tutorials. In this short, Patrick attempts to make a tutorial for acting, although having no experience with acting himself.

Transcript

  • [the scene shows Patrick in front of a white background]
  • Patrick: Hello, my name is Patrick Star. This tutorial will tell you the key secrets to acting, such as memorizing the script, stunt doubles, and fake punches. Are you ready, kids?
  • Kids: Aye, aye, captain!
  • Patrick: Since when am I the captain?
  • Kids: Oh wait, sorry, we're on the wrong show.
  • [a rumble of walking can be heard, implying the kids have left]
  • Patrick: ...aw, but I wanted to be the captain.
  • [the scene cuts to a clapperboard, it claps and moves away, to reveal Patrick, still in the white background, now with SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: Here, we will demonstrate how to do a fake punch.
  • Patrick: Use your fist that is farthest away from the camera's view.
  • SpongeBob: Then, punch the air behind the side of the opponent's face the camera can't see, while the opponent's head simultaneously does what would have happened if he had legitimately been punched.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, no. You've got it all wrong. Go to your room! You should be ashamed of yourself!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, we're in my room.
  • [the camera cuts to a zoomed-out version of the picture, they are standing in front of a green-screen in SpongeBob's room]
  • Patrick: Hmm, right.
  • SpongeBob: Anyway, if that's not how you do it, then how do you do it?
  • Patrick: Like this!
  • [Patrick punches SpongeBob and he falls onto the floor, he then jumps up and down on him and then walks off-screen, he comes back with a chainsaw]
  • Patrick: See? So far, he's taken absolutely no damage!
  • SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick-
  • Patrick: Now let's demonstrate how to do a fake "cut-your-opponent's-body-in-half-with-a-chainsaw!"
  • [the scene cuts to a shot of SpongeBob's house from the outside, a screaming noise is heard, the screen then shows a "Technical Difficulties" screen, it switches to a TV color test screen and then static, then to the clapperboard again, which goes away to see Sandy and Patrick this time]
  • Patrick: This time, we will have Sandy as our guest, as we demonstrate stunt doubles.
  • Sandy: Stunt doubles need to be able to do what the normal actor can't, and look like their corresponding actor from the angle of the camera.
  • Patrick: Right. Now let's see how this works.
  • [To be continued!]

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