G MPAA rating
Rated G - General Audiences

This article is rated G, meaning it is appropriate for all ages.


Nat Peterson
Martha Smith
Tom Smith
Tina Fran
Clayton (debut)
Mable (debut)
Lenny (debut)
Billy (debut)
Nancy Suzy Fish (Flashback)
Frank (Flashback)
Sadie Rechid (Flashback)
Fred (Flashback)
Sally (Flashback)


(Scene cuts to Shubie walking into a restaurant and sitting down at a table)

Shubie (looks at her watch): Where's Martha? I thought she was supposed to be here by now."

Martha walks in and sits across from Shubie.

Martha: "Hi, Shubie, sorry I'm late, there was a lot of traffic on the way here."

Shubie: "Oh, it's fine. So, why did you invite me to lunch today?"

Martha: "Well, me and Tom are getting married next Saturday, and we were wondering if Nat could be Tom's best man."

Shubie: "Congratulations! But doesn't Tom want Fred to be his best man, I always thought that they were best friends."

Martha: "Fred and Sadie aren't invited to our wedding."

Shubie: "Really? Well isn't Frank one of Tom's best friends too? I'm surprised Tom doesn't want him to be his best man instead of Nat."

Martha: "Frank and Nancy aren't invited either."

Shubie: "Why aren't Sadie, Fred, Nancy and Frank invited?"

Martha: "Do you remember what happened at my last wedding?"

Shubie: "Oh yeah..."

(Flashback to Martha's first wedding)

(Hear comes the bride begins to play) Martha begins to walk down the aisle. Sadie and Frank opens the door and walk towards a pew.

Sadie: "Watch out! Pregnant lady coming through!"

Sadie pushes Martha out of her way and Martha falls onto the ground. While Sadie and Frank walk into the pew, a pillow falls out of Sadie stomach, before she pushes it back into her dress to make it look like she's pregnant. (Flashback ends)

(Scene cuts back to Martha and Shubie in the restaurant)

Shubie: "Oh my gosh, I almost forgot about that."

Martha: "And remember the stunt Nancy pulled during the service?"

Shubie: "No, I don't think I remember that."

Martha: "Well back then, Nancy was married to Fred who had just gotten divorced from Mable. So when Fred and Nancy ended up sitting next to Mable who had just married Lenny, you can imagine what was said."

(Flashback to Nancy and Mable sitting next to each other during Martha's wedding)

Nancy: "Hi, Mable, how's it feel to be married to someone that is as thin as you? No wonder he's so skinny, he can't digest the awful food you cook!"

Mable: "Lenny is very well fed for your information, we're both just naturally thin."

Nancy: "Yeah, right. Well I'll let you know that Momma Nancy is feeding your children well for you. It's a shame you lost custody of them."

Mable: "I didn't lose custody of them, I agreed to have Fred keep the kids since I see them in school everyday.

Nancy: "Oh, I forgot you're a teacher. No wonder Fred divorced a teacher like you for a wealthy bank teller like me. But I mean, hey at least you got married to a deadbeat that barely makes 75% of my husband's salary and is known by every woman as the ugliest man in Bikini Bottom!"

Mable: "What did you just say about my husband?"

Mable punches Nancy in the face and the two begin to fight causing the whole church to look at them.

(Flashback ends) (Scene cuts back to Martha and Shubie in the restaurant)

Shubie: "Wow, I never knew why Nancy and Mable got into a fight during your wedding. But I'm sure that won't happen again, Nancy isn't even married to Fred anymore, she's married to Frank now."

Martha: "Yeah, but Frank is Sadie's ex-husband, and Fred is married to Sadie now so it wouldn't surprise if Nancy and Sadie get into a fight at this wedding. I mean, Nancy's my best friend, but I don't want this wedding to end up like my last."

Shubie: "Oh, I completely understand your concern."

Martha: "Thanks, but promise that you won't tell Sadie or Nancy about the wedding. And you can't tell Sally either, I didn't invite her since she's Tom's ex-wife."

Shubie: "Don't worry I won't tell a soul."

Martha: "Thanks, I knew I could count on you, that's why I made you my maid of honor."

(Scene cuts to the wedding)

Shubie, Nat and Susie walk into the church.

Shubie: "Susie, you sit here." Shubie points at a pew where Mable, Lenny and Billy are sitting.

Martha: "Hey, Shubie, I knew you could make it! Now, we need a flower girl, is it okay if Susie is?"

Shubie: "Of course!"

Martha: "Great, the flowers are down there."

Martha points to the back of the church. Susie gets out of the pew and runs over to the flowers.

(Music begins to play) Martha: "I better go, the mass is starting. Thanks again for all the help you and Nat have given us, Shubie, it really means a lot."

Shubie: "Oh, no problem, Martha. I remember how hectic it was on my wedding day."

Martha leaves and Shubie stands next to Evelyn and Tina-Fran on the altar, while Nat stands with Harold, Clayton, Pilar and Scooter on the other side.

Shubie: "Is this really everyone that's coming?"

(Scene cuts to Mable, Billy and Lenny who are the only people in the pews)

Tina: "I think so."

(Here comes the bride begins to play) Susie walks down the aisle throwing flowers while Martha follows behind her.

(Scene cuts to the end of the wedding)

Priest: "Tom, do you take Martha as your lawfully wedded wife?"

Tom: "I do."

Priest: "And Martha do you take Tom as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Martha: "I do."

Priest: "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Tom and Martha kiss.

Crowd: "Awwwww..."

(Scene cuts Martha and Tom running into a limo with a bunch of cans on the back)

Shubie: "Look at those two, they remind me of us at our wedding."

Nat: "Yeah. How long do you think they'll stay together until they get sick of each other and divorce?"

Shubie: "Well I mean Martha has gone through one marriage already, and Tom's gone through two, so I'll give it about five years at most."

Nat: "Yep, that's Bikini Bottom for you. The town where every couple divorces no matter how many times they tell you they won't."

(Scene ends)

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